[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
After four long and arduous years, I finally found the Truth. The truth of our lovely island paradise. Lend me your ears or other auditory receivers, people. This is pretty freaking important, da ze~

The secret of the island. Where is it? Who kidnapped us and stuck us in here with no hope of getting out voluntarily? How do we escape? The answers lie with this old man right here. His name is Namumu, and he has a plan for this island, da ze~ I don't know what that plan is yet, but he clearly does not have our well being in mind, da ze~ This island is on a planet called Sengoku Ran, but it isn't even a real island, just a reproduction of one. It was made out of garbage, so just so you know, that pizza tree or those berries were probably someone's crap. I guess that detective kid was right to not trust them, huh? Ku ku kuuuuu~ Anyway, Namumu mentioned to me that everyone here is fulfilling the first steps to his G R plan. And then he got away from me, the bastard...

He was heading towards Clam Island. Maybe a few of you brave warriors could check it out, maybe find a few more clues to where he is hiding. If we find him, we can force him to let us out and return to our homes, and I'm sure plenty of you would love that, huh?

[See Kururu. See Kururu fulfill his dare while still being a jackass at the same time. Do you believe him?]
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Huh. Well I'll be damned.

Hey, Prier? You know how you said you spent plenty of time camping out when you were working for that church of yours?

Get ready to do it again~! Ku ku kuuuu~

[In retrospect, it probably wasn't the greatest idea to build the hut RIGHT NEXT THE BASE of the volcano. At least it looks cool getting melted and burnt down? He's keeping his distance from the lava but damn if he doesn't want a closer look at the spectacle]
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
[If you happen to be trying to take refuge in the Library from the rain today, you... might want to look somewhere else. Your local island library is currently experiencing its own miniaturized version of all the heavy showers, thanks in part to the numerous huge leaks in the roof. And the books? Well, they are mostly drenched except for doujinshi section, that section is mysteriously missing and your froggy librarian is doing a very slow job in trying to save them]

I suppose this means I'm going to have to close down the library while I try to repair the roof... if the rain will let up, of course~ Ku ku kuuuu~ At least my leafy umbrella is holding up in here, da ze~ I've got 2 days to get the books out and start drying them out if they are going to be salvaged. Hmm~ But I wonder if I should, da ze~

[You book nerds better save your precious books if you want to have ANYTHING to read.]
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Alright, now that we are down to only those who really give a damn about computers, I want to announce your grades to the last test. Not so surprisingly, almost everyone failed. I am disappointed in you people, it was only a level 10 firewall run. At this rate, you people are not going to be able to hack a computer to save your lives, da ze~

And here I was going to let you all have the day off, but nope. Today, you get to work on your hacking skills. Nobody is leaving class until one of you losers past the test, da ze~ Now get to it. If you really need my help, I'll be over here with my curry.

((Various computer classes that seem to always turn into a class on how to hack plus computer lab for all your school computing needs here. You can assume you're in one of his classes or whatever))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Kuu~ ku ku kuuu~ It's about time this event came around. How many times have I been preparing for this time now, fifteen? Well, now it's time to go with a little more "homesick" feeling, da ze~ And this time, Prier can't complain about me hi-jacking the hut for it. Nothing says I can't pull this stunt right next to the house, now is there?

[the perfect bait! A HOLOGRAPHIC REPLICA OF KERORO'S ROOM! Every detail is perfect, it even feels real! Look at those gundam models! But, it's all a hologram no matter how real it looks]

Ku ku kuuuu~ maybe I shouldn't have put that many gundam models in the room, but at least it's accurate, da ze~ Maybe this time Kero-kun will actually stop by, perhaps have a chat with Fuyuki Hinata-kun~ Ku kuu~ Ah, right, should make room for curry refreshments, da ze~ I suppose I could just take someone's candy for Nitouhei. Maybe this year I'll be luckier.

[The Kero-pad for froggy fun or lack of. There is a ton of curry and a little bit of Dance Man music playing in the background. Come and build a gundam model! or just, you know, hang out. COME TO ME, MY KERORO PLATOON!]
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Hmmm nope. Nope. Nuh uh. Not even close. ... Oops, must have not taken this one out. Maybe I can later when angry pants isn't around.

Alright, who has the children's storybooks? Someone is going to have to cough one up because I'm not even going to pretend I know how to tell a good children's story. You can only retell the story of Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White or Ponyo so many times before you start mixing mecha into the stories, and then it just becomes so wrong. Kinda cool in a very strange and weird way, but still very wrong, da ze~ Ku kuuuuu~

... So yeah, someone give up a story book or two.

((In ten years, the library has been passed on to Ayumu but of course Kururu still hangs around it))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
[where ever you may be, there will suddenly be a buffet table full of (leafy) platters. And on those platters are an assortment of sushi dishes. But these aren't your regular sushi dishes, no, you may even say they aren't sushi at all. They are just fruit rolls and desserts. Well, most of them are anyway. And, of course, there is a yellow frog behind the table, peddling his dishes]

Come try a Pekoponian Roll, a specialty from space. It's quite addicting and good for your skin. Or just a dessert plate, if you're a sugar-coated wuss.

Kuuuu~ Come try a Pekoponian Roll~
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
[For Christmas, a certain little yellow frog received a video camera that isn't small and hidden away somewhere to spy on the whole lot of you and he is damn well going to use it to film everything. Everything from you just eating something to scoping out your home to you punching someone...]

Stupid Canadians and their stupid day of boxing. Always gotta be a muscle-headed freak of nature, da ze~

[or him. That's fine too.]
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
I regret signing myself up for this. But if it'll keep her mouth shut, it's a small price to pay. Besides, it's not like it'll work like a real one, da ze~ That's just asking for trouble, and that's just plain stupid. ku ku kuuuu~ Not that she'll know that.

... Why am I putting so much refinement in the outline? Eh, whatever. HEY! YUI PHOOEY! Get over here and get your honorary alien badge symbol.... thing. It'll only be around for a limited time and after that, I'm trashing it. It also makes a decent cellphone charm, da ze~

... Maybe I should have went with red instead.
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Right, I'm not a fanboy of the ghost hunters, but I'm damn sure this is straight out of it.

But this is kinda useless without ghosts around, eh? Well, I guess that's my fault, da ze~ Ku ku kuuuu~ Ghosts can't mess with keronians, after all. Keroro was an exception. That's too bad~ I'd love to go and capture ghostly ghouls and goblins and whatever, in true science fiction style.

Ku ku ku ku kuuuuu~ I wonder what everyone else is doing.

((Fun fact: supernatural things like ghosts can't touch froggy boy here :( So, you'll see a hut SWARMED with ghosts trying to get curry butt's attention. Oh, and just to throw back to the frog series, the ghost girl in the center is also hanging around looking sad.))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Wow, those American Pekoponians will make a movie out of anything, huh? Princesses and frogs, what a stupid idea. It's worse because it's some lame fairytale. Let's not forget controversy, that's always great for a movie.

Who cares about what's already been through the big screen, the real good watches are the trailers for new and upcoming movies. Although... I wonder if any screens are playing one of our four big movies. I still want to watch that one where we turn into dragons, that looks like it's supposed to be awesome.

Ahh, Hayao Miyazaki never ceases to be amazing, da ze~

((Watching trailers because watching movies is for lame people :<))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Snazzy, eh Island? Enough wedding bells, missing slippers and shoes and all the frilly crap to kill a guy. Well, I'm not gonna let you get me down, it's time I show you what I'm made of.

... "Every rose has its thorns. This one just has far too many for it's own good." Laaaame. Roses are stupid anyway, nothing says wedding like wild onion weeds~ That fresh onion smell, makes everything better, yes? Speaking of onions, I should find some, my vegetable store is running low. By the way, Island~ When I asked for my laboratory that's on Pekopon, I didn't mean a 1/25 scale model of it. I don't care if I missed my third "Islandversary" or whatever, I want the real thing! I guess I'll just give this to Taichou if I ever see him again.

((wedding post that doubles as his belated three year island birthday something or other?))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
And that, students, is how Keronians improve Pekoponian computer viruses. Not even the most advanced form of Conficker is a match for my totally awesome improvement. Be glad I'm doing this only as a teaching aid, ku ku kuuuuu~ I'd hate to see what it could do if I actually let this out on the island network, da ze~

Alright then, for your homework tonight, I expect you all to figure out how to combat my virus. You get an automatic A if your method doesn't involve smashing your laptops. If no one figures something out, everyone gets an F and everyone gets to spend Prom night with the janitor. Or a leaky skunk super glued to your back. Your dates will certainly enjoy that, da ze~ Double the enjoyment if your dates are in my classes.
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Oh wildlife, you never cease to amuse me. When I said you aren't allowed near the curry spring, I mean you're not allowed within five hundred kilometers of it. Too bad for you it means you're always near it. Now behold! Fear my giant ass! That's right, cower before my mighty paper ass! Now get out if you want to not be paper food. Ku ku ku kuuu~ Now if only Viper's grunts did the same, da ze~

... ... Now what am I supposed to do with you? Don't you dare breathe fire on me or something. You may, however, shoot giant missiles that pound things with a hammer. Ku ku kuuu~ Let's see if we can't get you to break down that pesky little barrier thing over the spring, shall we~? Hopefully that woman hasn't gone and hoarded the entire spring while I have been gone, or else there will be no nice things for her.

((C-Canon updated Kururu get!? He's now up to a few episodes before the current Keroro anime episodes almost three years worth of anime plus the four movies, which means MUSHA KERO subseries plot. Basically, Keroro Platoon went to some planet to save it and had feudal japanese type aspects but with more mecha and sci-fi :( ANYWAY! Kururu's all dressed up in robe and... thing like in icon, all doctor-like, and yes he has a giant donkey with him. Despite how lifelike it may be, it's... made out of paper. Yeah. I'll leave it at that for now))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com


Now then. Come to me, alternate version platoon. I know you're out there, da ze~ Come to me, my pretties~

Prier, I'm taking over your home for a bit, leave me alone.
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
They say hot springs near an active volcano are some of the best hot springs on Pekopon. It would make sense the same would apply here to the island's hot springs. All the ominous rumbling of the volcano is doing wonders for the hot springs here, da ze~ Frankly, the island should make the volcano rumble up more often.

Now here's the strange thing. Why aren't there any of you Pekoponians taking advantage of this, da ze~? Not that I mind, on the contrary! It means more private time for me~ It just seems odd, that's all.

Nothing beats a curry bath, though. Oh well, a little hot spring soaking every now and then is important.

((yellow frog in the hot springs. Hot springs post anyone?))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
Kids, stay out of that pekoponian suit, you might hurt yourselves. Or worse, you might go around acting magical girl on the island. Last thing I need are kids who are part time magical girls, in a manner of speaking. I know there's a 75% possibility you inherited your mother's miracle making powers but that's no excuse to go prancing around in my old Kururuko suit. Besides. I need parts from it anyway.

Anyway, inventions. I know people wanted some, so for a limited time, I'll make something for you using crap I ripped out from the old ship Garuru left behind so long ago. Come get it while I'm being nice enough to extend the invitation, da ze~ Don't expect too much though, it's not like we have a whole lot to work with anyway.

((TYL Kururu. Offering to build something for you people out of the goodness of his once dark and curry-filled heart :| also beware of two munchkins trying to run around in his old Kururuko suit))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
[A stake, a key, a sign that says "Key for Sale", and a frog eating curry right next to his beloved curry spring and also watching something on a small and strange tv and shooting down roaches, hurray for multitasking. This is very normal yes]

Mmm, now I know exactly what I've been missing back on Pekopon. Some really nice parody videos. I knew that rip-off would give us something like this. Oooh, I probably should destroy this before the guys related to this start snooping around and ask questions. Nothing's worse than having to answer questions they shouldn't be knowing the answers too, da ze~ ...Hmm~ what else did I miss? US Presidential election, how nice. Hmmm. I miss having my quality TV time, da ze~ It's much more interesting than looking for the lock to this key. Besides, selling it would be much better.

Hmm, is something different today, da ze~? Ku ku kuuuu~

((This. Kururu is watching that on that small, special, Youtube-only tv that he picked up from wherever it was left last time it was used. Also not caring about roaches and keys and yes. Not an excuse to have CG characters to come poking around, nope.))
[identity profile] jerky-genius.livejournal.com
While everyone goes off in a frenzy about their missing clothes, I'll just stay here and work on the library, da ze~ I'll just keep the cameras all over the island on with the Anti-Barrier, da ze~ And I'll just keep mine on too. This goes in this and that goes in that and those go in the trash~ Ku ku kuuuu~ Oh right, better take these too, no one likes old doujinshi in a library, da ze~ Not that anyone here does, but who cares about that. Should also trash that no good doujinshi guy's stuff that he left in here~ Ku ku kuuu~ With all of this crap, I could probably have enough to make half a mini-planet for Taichou. Maybe it'd end up crashing down on the island like the moon, da ze~

Nyo nyonyo~ I might have to redo the entire catalogue, da ze~ Dewey is getting very old fashioned. Maybe if I feel like translating the system to Keron Standard and then redo the order of the books it could be done~ The anti-barrier will be much handier in that case. At least anyone walking by would probably freak out.

Bleh-- Love stories. Trash~!

Cut for decently long OOC comment )

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