+009

[bossonwheels.livejournal.com]

Hey hey! That one bachelors' article in that paper thing before. You got the right idea but you wrote it all wrong!
You gotta give stats, stats! Details, baby! Since I'm feelin' generous, I will put up this nice little advert for my dear twin brother Nike!

ATTN: GIRLS

Name: Sora "Nike" Takeuchi
Title: Gem King
Age: 22
Height: 5' 8"
Weight: Half a cow (maybe a third or quarter of a cow-- it's been awhile since we last weighed him, after all)

Origin: Japan

Other: Spent 5 years in the US Army; likes to benchpress grizzly bears

Likes: Meat, raw meat, women, boobs, ripping clothing, tight clothing, knives, military crap, helicopters, jet fighters, battle cruisers, tanks, blood, gore, killing, maiming, skull smashing, small fuzzy animals, etc.

Dislikes: Ask him!

Probably lots of other simple stuff. He's not as smart as me so his tastes are kinda weird?

! ! ! SPECIAL OFFER ! ! !:
Take 'im now and I will tag along for free! Might just watch, but if ya offer a threesome I'm totally up for it! What's a twin without his other half, ne?

To arrange a date, please step right up an' ask me 'bout it!

On that note, ADACHI EMIRI gets dibs on the first one just because I'm feeling nice today.