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[stalking_horse]

[And somewhere in the jungle, there is a wandering detective in a drab tan suit, currently following something that might be a path, and might be a game trail, but should at least go somewhere sooner or later. His current mission: See if there's signs of other human life!
He may have been wandering off the beaten path for a while now.]

[While he can do quite a bit if he finds tracks in the trail itself ... wilderness tracking is not his strong suit; city boy is a city boy.]

[Besides that, he's weathering it rather well, if coping via resigned indignation.]

[Disturb/flag down/attempt to stalk/get tracked, stumbled across, or found?]

Comments

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

That too. The best way to keep anyone from suspecting anything is to act completely normal. It's always the little abnormalities that give things away. [Cursed Fridge Logic.]

All things considered, that doesn't guarantee she wouldn't be with the group, sinc- [Oh shit. Shutting his mouth. He was saying too much. Why did 'witches' have to give him such Vermouth vibes?] Still, be it just her being a psycho or not, it would be better to keep her away from Kaito-niichan. Maybe he could file a restraining order?

so my iPod's Magic Eight Ball app apparently is out to get Conan.

[stalking_horse]

...[And for a moment, before he says anything, he's going to pause and give Conan one of the ODDEST looks, right about a half-minute after the "little abnormalities" comment processes, along with the weird sudden cut-off. It's the sort of "...Wait - what?" bewildered face that Conan's probably slightly used to as a warning sign by now.]

Since? ... [No really that was a really ... bizarre time to cut off your sentence and something isn't right here that he can't put his finger on, besides that you just pulled one of the most obvious "You Are Hiding Something" moves EVER.]

[Somehow, there's a moment of half-stifled laughter at the image of a restraining order on Akako.] I think we'd have to first be able to solidly prove she's stalking him, and not just being creepy at him in class.
[Also, how DO you say that technically she's protected Kid from YOURSELF? >.>; ]
[...And that expectant look. No really. What was that again?]

Poor Conan.

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

[Oh shit. He knew that look. Hattori gave him that look. And some various police officers.]

Neh, don't worry about it! It was just something I saw on Kamen Yaiba, but that's just a TV show. I shouldn't use that with a real case. [Have happy kidlet smile.]

Witnesses might be enough for something like that? I've never gotten a restraining order, so I wouldn't know.

[stalking_horse]

[And that was the worst possible reaction. No really. He did something like that a few times when he was a kid and didn't want people asking questions, only you pretty much cranked it up to eleven.]

[It's not hard to guess it was the wrong thing to do by the rather irritated "Oh you have got to be kidding/What kind of idiot do you take me for?" look you get shot.]

Please tell me that doesn't actually work - No, no, nevermind, I did a pale, ghostly shadow of that when I was little. Only I knew better than to try to blame it on a children's show and hope the adults wouldn't know enough about it to not realize something was up. And you're the first kid I've met who can pull that kind of deception that sharply and blatantly. Oh, and the sudden shift from dead serious to brainless and cheerful? Is a little too obvious. [This is the warning look.]

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

[Oh shit.]

....

W-what are you talking about, Hakuba-niisan?

[Plan B: Deny, deny, DENY.]

[stalking_horse]

[Wrong plan. You just cemented the suspicion that something is Very Wrong here.]

I am not an idiot. I remember playing the stupid kid to throw people off; what you just did was that taken to an extreme. You were having a perfectly intelligent and serious conversation not thirty seconds ago - whatever you cut off, it was something important and something you want to hide so thoroughly that you don't want me thinking there was even something to ask about.
Besides that, you didn't even make the transition between acting like you might not understand and following perfectly; it's like you threw a switch and are hoping the sudden unnatural behavior will just get handwaved off as "a kid thing". [>________> ]

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

....

[Oh shit, shit, shit. Most people blew it off! They did and it...it's probably why so many people suspected on the Island.]

[Damn it.]

[Change of plans. And there's a pout.]

Why would I put on an act, Hakuba-niisan? I really don't know how people get restraining orders and it was just a kamen yaiba thing. Sometimes they tell useful things, but for people, it doesn't work. Just like goblins don't drive cars.

Put down the shovel and waaaalk awaaaaay, Conan-kun...

[stalking_horse]

[... that hasn't helped. In fact, you might get the impression he's ... a little... irritated. Why, one would get the feeling he doesn't like being lied to, almost.]

Do you honestly expect me to think that a children's action show is going into legal issues, stalking, and restraining orders? Honestly, if you're going to lie, at least make it something believable, like hearing it on a crime drama you saw someone else watching. [And the goblins do drive cars when they're masquerading as people. What? You try being used to always having something to focus on and being stuck in an airport lobby where the only noise to listen to is the TV running for the kids and your music player died.]
The least you can do is stop patronizing me by pretending your IQ has suddenly dropped and acting like you don't understand the things you've admitted to living in and around constantly.

Re: Put down the shovel and waaaalk awaaaaay, Conan-kun...

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

Sometimes they'll talk about poison. I met something more for a bad group! I was referring to that, not the restraining orders! I just know restraining orders are to keep people who make others feel unsafe have to stay away!

[Y-yeah, gonna keep lying through his teeth here.]

I'm only there for the...the actiony sort of crimes, so I don't know a lot about the other kinds!

[stalking_horse]

.............[Good god this is almost getting painful.]
And was the Koushien case, or the Sunset manor, "actiony" kinds of cases? [...there's enough acid there to eat through a ship hull.]

[And there might be the feeling that you're rapidly losing what respect you'd earned.]
Do you actually have any dignity left? And what on Earth is so important to hide that you're willing to keep digging yourself a hole like this when it's not actually working?

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

I... [Shit, shit, shit, Hakuba had way too many good points.]

[Mind was on over drive, trying to think of a solution. No, he was forcing this as a kid. He had to look at it from a detective point of view. Find the flaws and errors. He'd changed too quickly. He needed a reason. Something that could be explained without giving too much. So what...?]

I... [And looking down at the ground, making his voice softer.] I just.... [He trailed off deliberately. Some might even take the tone as being quite tempted to cry.]

[To answer his question: Dignity? That was shot all to hell a long, long time ago. He just pretended to have some occasionally.]

[stalking_horse]

[....Well, you're not digging -deeper-. This is at least something. Somewhat.]

Just? [Think very carefully about how you finish this sentence. You may be "a little kid", but you are also involved in life and death situations and have proven that you understand perfectly well what that means and how easily people could end up dead - Saguru's not a heartless bastard, but hurt feelings > Dead bodies, and he does not appreciate being lied to.]

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

[He was silent a good minute, just standing there, staring at the ground, looking the very picture of an upset child.]

[However, his mind was instead putting together a story. Looking at all the clues, determined what sort of child Conan 'was' where his reasons made sense without giving out the truth. It was such a bipolar attitude, when he looked at it. He couldn't make up anything Ran or Kazuha could contradict later. So what...?]

[Ah, and then it clicked. And putting on his saddest kid voice, he lied yet again.]

When I help, it's fine...when I can be helpful, people don't think I'm some sort of...of freak or something. Because I helped, so they don't think I'm weird.

But if I can't help, then people...people get weirded out and they act distant and I just...I just don't want that, especially from a niisan I like. I wasn't being helpful, so...so I just...did that.

[Anyone close to 'Conan' knew his 'parents' weren't around much. It would make sense that he'd probably crave positive attention. Children were either very accepting or very unforgiving of 'oddities.' Combine together and it would make sense that 'Conan' might have some sort of complex about seeming weird.]

[Or at least he hoped Hakuba would buy it.]

[The comedy is that Saguru's attempts at figuring Conan out probably are getting half-right answers]

[stalking_horse]

.......[Well, at least he's not feeling patronized anymore.]

Except that you were being helpful, and you suddenly clammed up in the middle of what had to've been something important, so you're still not exactly making sense.

[You are making him want his mother's bookshelves and to go digging through developmental psych studies to see if there's any clues to figure you out. :| Or put his finger on what's not right with this picture. Parents distant, but does have peers he gets along with well enough to be cooperating under pressure small children normally weren't exposed to, and some surrogate family, granted Saguru's never actually gotten to see how they interact-
It does seem like the kid has a lot to hide, which, if he DOES know more than he's claiming he knows, and is having to hide more than someone his age would usually ever have to think about sitting on -]

Of course~! It's how it always goes, but COnan will never admit it.

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

[And will look up with a look of surprise.] I was?! I...it sounded like I wasn't... [And now Hakuba is getting the hopeful puppy dog eyes look because clearly he's just a little kid that wants to help.]

[Of course Conan had considered that. But if he had too, he planned it play it off for why he was more willing to show his intelligence. While things would be good for 'Conan' here, it might have been back home and it was only the good friends and family that he improved.]

[But habits and complexes were hard to conquer. It all made sense. A tricky ground and he'd have to watch himself around Hakuba, but if he got it to work, it was worth it.]

[stalking_horse]

[Upside about Saguru for Conan's lampshade disguise: He does give children credit for intelligence and being able to understand things.
Downside: He gives children credit for intelligence and being able to understand things. >__> ]

.............. :| Of course you weren't. That's why I was stopping my train of thought to ask you for further input and commenting that it sounded like you actually knew something. [ /sarcasm.]

If you're going to hide something? I can accept some vague explanation of why something has to be kept secret, or why you don't want to answer a question, and at least a token effort to not leave me so far in the dark that I make things worse...

Don't.
Lie to me.

Particularly not where lives are concerned, and especially not when it's the lives of people I care about.
I'm sure your patience would vanish just as quickly if you were lied to about things that could mean Ran or your fellow little detectives getting killed.

[Granted, he has done nothing for Saguru's impression that Conan is -VERY- deeply involved.]

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

[Curse you and respecting my apparent age group.]

[And looking away again because he wants to hide how much that stung and look like a scolded child.]

....I don't even know Koizumi. I didn't even know about the people going for Kid. How could I know anything that would get people you care about hurt?

[Of course, the problem was, he didn't KNOW Hakuba. He didn't know if he was trust worthy. He didn't know if he should get involved. Even if another detective would be helpful, he couldn't just go to ANYONE.]

[Especially with the idea that maybe there was something deeper about Vermouth apprenticing under Toichi. If there was, to even think about involving Hakuba without talking to Kaito about things would make it difficult for him without meaning to do it.]

[stalking_horse]

No, you don't know her; but whatever you started to say, if something worried you about the situation enough to think of something, then it sounds like something has happened to give you reason to think it might be suspicious. I have my reasons for thinking she's not as big of a threat as she seems, traumatizing though she might be. It doesn't mean that, if you see something I didn't, it might not be important.

...And I have my reasons for wondering if maybe what I'm dealing with and what you're dealing with to might not have points in common. Even if it turns out that I'm barking up the wrong forest and there arent' any connections? It doesn't mean simple case study information might not save someone's life. Besides, we're still in similar circles in the same area, and you should know what happens on a dangerous case if you start discarding details and things that don't look right as "irrelevant". I don't expect you to just blindly trust me, and God knows I haven't told you everything I know, but if you're going to hide something? Either give me a good reason, or dodge better.

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

[It wasn't easy, hearing that. Not because of what he was saying, exactly, but because it was reminding him of everything bad in his situation. Both on and off the Island, in fact. He had to lie. He had to keep people from knowing the truth for their own safety because he had no way of explaining without making it harder to HELP. One route allowed him to do more, but cut off something else.]

[A rock and a hard place. Even when things were looking up, things just got worse again. No matter how far he got, the depths just kept getting deeper and deeper and he was falling behind. And getting reminded about it while being treated like a child claiming he thought there was some worth in what he said just...just...]

If you really think what I think is worth something, then why do you think I can't realize when I can and can't say something?! If there was danger, I wouldn't just stay quiet without good reason! [A snap. Something he couldn't quite bite back, but he quickly shut his mouth as soon as he realized he was talking at a bad time, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists.]

[stalking_horse]

[He did set himself up for some of the "treated like a child"....]

[And while the "flat calm controlled" state may not be something most people would consider exactly 'sane'...]

Because you didn't really seem to be thinking over what you were doing, and because you're paranoid. Deservedly so, from what I can tell, but enough to evade on instinct - and it's frustrating, isn't it, having to sit quiet and pretend you don't know anything when half your world's on the firing line? [There's just enough of a little smirk-snarl to that to add a little "speaking from experience" flag... Or maybe add urge to strangle him, depending on how well he's doing at reading Saguru right now.] Suggest there's a threat I'd discounted, and then start lying to me and telling me it was nothing important, and I'm going to notice.

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

[And now he's glaring. He HAD thought about it. There was barely a day he DIDN'T think about it. It was hard not to when every time he looked in the mirror, he was reminded of it. And it was frustrating. So much so, there were many a sleepless night from the stress of it all, but he had to preserve.]

[And having someone POKE AT IT did not help him deal with it any better, especially with the added pressure of the Witches on the Island.]

I don't THINK about it?! I am AWARE of danger, thank you very much. People have tried to shoot me, stab me, strangle me, and kill me in more ways than most people wouldn't even be able to gather up with every person they know! There's a reason I'm not DEAD, Hakuba-niisan.

I know when I need help. I know when I can't handle it and if I stay silent, I have a reason for it! Whether or not you think it's an important reason doesn't matter because clearly I'm managing to be an accurate enough judge I don't get my friends and I killed!

And as you've even said, I have no reason to trust you. I've only met you twice and BOTH times, a detective was the killer, so that guarantees nothing. Why tell you anything when I could tell those I know I can trust?

[He was breathing deeply, actually getting quite mad. Haibara would poke, but enough poking back and she usually backed off. Ran would prod, but she would eventually blow off. And Hattori...well, Hattori knew and he just seemed to understand him enough to know not to poke. No one had gotten close enough that knew when not to poke before.]

[stalking_horse]

...........

[Score another moment of being very good at ending up the bad guy, somehow.]

[Getting people that could actually keep up with him to hate him was getting to be the kind of habit he really needed to figure out how to avoid.]

[Deep breath. Hands in pockets.]

Look, if there's something you're not willing to tell me? Tell me that you can't talk about that. I'm sure you're clever enough to get the point across even if there's other people around. Just don't blatantly lie to me and expect me to ignore it.

...

[And you know, against all better judgment, there's a moment of curiosity.]

What do you expect from me?

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

Maybe if there was something to SAY! [Because even saying he couldn't say was too much. It gave too much away.]

What should I expect from you? I don't KNOW you. You chase Kid and you've got good deductive skills. But you've also proven to not always judge accurately. You blew off Hattori because you thought his hot blooded nature would make him a bad detective.

I can deduce. Maybe I'm even a prodigy. Who knows! But if you can't even accurately judge a straight forward guy like Hattori, how can you be so sure as to accuse me and scold me for things when I've TOLD you I don't know anything and told you why it makes no sense for me to know!

[They were low blows. After all, Hakuba wasn't necessarily wrong. But he didn't know what he was getting into. He didn't have a clue at all. And honestly, Hakuba's situation was too similar to his own. Oh sure, he ran off without the police on his own plenty of times.]

[But it was so much different when you couldn't always trust that the safety net of the police is there when you DO need it. And they couldn't guarantee they'd have it in this case at all.]

[stalking_horse]

[. . . . He really should've seen that coming/known better than to prod at someone that was already agitated and angry.]

[The way Conan's acting and as much of a volcano as he just uncorked? You don't get someone that angry by poking at a nerve they claim isn't there if they're telling the truth about it.]

[...And he's not sure there's much he can do right now without just stirring up the hornet's nest more.]

Fine then. One more question. Should I actually keep going on to the inn? I've already run into Kaito, and he ditched me back in the jungle going the wrong way, and I'm not about to barge in where I'm truly not wanted. I'm sure there's other shelter around here somewhere.

[And still that ruffled something-he's-not-quite-saying-yet grump...]

[17-going-on-8.livejournal.com]

...

You're the one who wants the child to be more than he is.

I can avoid you if I want. Kaito-niichan certainly can. I'm sure we can get along well if you stopped accusing me of things for no reason. [And then he's gonna turn and start walking.] And it's not like I do much at the inn besides sleep anyway.

[Ergo, yes, go to the inn, but he's gonna be grumpy at you too.]